Your But is Too Big

Is your “but” too big?

No, that’s not a typo. I’m not talking about the size of your booty. In fact, I’m not even sure if too large a butt is a thing these days. I’m told the Kardashians have somehow made big tail ends all the rage. Trends are always too little too late for me, but I digress.

I’m talking about the “but” in your sentence.

“You did a great job on this story, but…”

“I love this idea, but…”

“Your staff enjoys working for you, but…”

The problem with the “but” in your sentence is that your staff doesn’t hear anything that comes before it. Instead of the positive/negative format you intended for constructive feedback, all your staffer hears is the negative. Using the word “but” impedes your communication. Instead try:

“You did a great job on this story. I think it needs just one more interview with the provost. Here’s a list of questions that still are unanswered.”

“I love this idea. We did something similar last semester. Here’s that story. How do you think we could develop it for this semester? I want to make sure we’re not reporting the exact same information.”

“You staff enjoys working for you. I think you’re doing a great job with them. I would like for you to avoid using the word ‘but’ when you’re communicating with them. It shuts them off to the positive part of your message.”

Your “but” probably is just a habit. Focus on removing it from your communication and observe the positive results.

Dr. Kenna Griffin is an assistant professor of mass communications and director of student publications at Oklahoma City University. She is the author of the Prof KRG blog, which serves as a practical resource for student journalists. She is a journalist, reader, shoe lover, wife, mother of two, and the spoiler of a couple of adorable dogs.